Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mhterp90

Online | Search for a member

mhterp90

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1324
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mhterp90's page activity

Visits<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:21am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:29pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 9:58am<b>MaybeMoo</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:37pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:26pm<b>Queenf</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:45am<b>Vball6</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:50am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:00am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:39am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:58pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:27am<b>Mmkay1515</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:32am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 4:28pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:45pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:24pm

mhterp90's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of mhterp90's badges

mhterp90's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21996) - you deserved it (4762)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

#21508274
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (7361)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:18am - misc - by BahHumbug (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

#21486241
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (2420)

On 10/30/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

#21479940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (3235)

On 10/14/2015 at 9:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

#21466220
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/08/2015 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

#21464906
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (7658)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by ManderDander (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (3409)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

#21442166
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (3161)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (3759)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: