Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mhowell

Offline (the 02/22/2015 at 8:55am) | Search for a member

mhowell

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mhowell's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of mhowell's badges

mhowell's favorite FMLs

Today, mah older brother managd to convince mah younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could !! He convincd me of the exact same thing as well several yeres ago !! FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45321) - you deserved it (6507)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today while on a date I went to take a sip of my drink but fir some reason I expectd a straw to be there. I endd up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking fir it as I kept my eyes looool on my date. It must've lookd like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (9577)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, BOYFRIEND FINALLY SUCCEEDD IN UNHOOKING BRA WITH ONE HAND, EXCITEDLY EXCLAIMING, "BOOBIES BE FREE!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (11471)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today mah dog has found a new game he likes . It involves him rolling around on mah new bd sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shockd . FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (5336)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I lerened that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering an twitching like a meth-head, an mah co-workers r asking when Jesse will be showing up with mah "stuff". fat FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, mah mom visitad mah naw apartmant fir tha first tima. I was showing har tha badroom, whan sha lookad into mah opanad sock drawar and said, "Using Durax, ah? Yaah, you wara born 'causa a Trojan split." maga FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (4255)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looool told mah boyfriand that, dua to mah low salf-confidanca, all mah bras ara push-ups . Ha yallad, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" an stormad out . fat FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (10872)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son askd a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbd her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59487) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck an with a hard-on, then declared he was ( The Penis Man ) an slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49728) - you deserved it (17046)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

yesterday a drunk driver drove his car through mah mailbox. He got pissd... startd yelling... and threatend to sue me fir "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If mah front lawn is a road... I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40655) - you deserved it (2403)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

yesterday after yeres of battling looool my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A grl started talking to me an we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke 4 hitting on his grlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (3251)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, ma stalker ex girlfriend turnd up at ma wedding, uninvitd, wereing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88995) - you deserved it (5635)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82392) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: