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mfmylifesrsly

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mfmylifesrsly
  • Town/Country : Texas, America, the land of the not so free
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 37150
  • Number of comments : 1380
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

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Judgmental

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mfmylifesrsly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (5790)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (52181)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12963) - you deserved it (31568)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (24182)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

#7939467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20746) - you deserved it (4397)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:01pm - misc - by dinosaurboy (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

#7842580
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (4663)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:57am - love - by lonestar (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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