mentallizzard

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Offline (the 09/20/2016 at 6:07am)

mentallizzard

2Fucked!

mentallizzardmentallizzard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3084
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:28pm<b>stickitup455</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:11pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:16am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:24am<b>jquaw</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>kylu7373</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:28am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:14pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:00pm

mentallizzard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of mentallizzard's badges

mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

by shopper242 / 11/22/2010 at 7:29am / France / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

by kylie / 08/10/2010 at 3:22am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

by kylie / 08/10/2010 at 3:22am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by Crash / 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

by smellsofeggs / 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Animals

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

by girl / 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous