mentallizzard

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 7:35pm)

mentallizzard

2Fucked!

mentallizzardmentallizzard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2114
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>stickitup455</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:11pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:16am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:24am<b>jquaw</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>kylu7373</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:28am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:14pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:53pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:00pm

mentallizzard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of mentallizzard's badges

mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

by -.- / 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

by violatedbuttcrack / 05/16/2013 at 6:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

by Gem / 04/05/2013 at 7:04am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

by bruised / 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals