melons

Search for a member

Offline (3 hours ago)

melons

96Fucked!

melonsmelons
  • Town/Country : Brest, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3272
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About melons :

melons's page activity

Visits<b>VanillaBeanGhost</b> - 4 hours ago<b>herecomestheboom</b> - 12 hours ago<b>stellasue11</b> - yesterday at 11:04pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 5:17pm<b>AudioBoss</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:22am<b>ZombieSlaya115</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 8:18pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:16am<b>ColdCreasent</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 2:53am<b>marcelj121</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:29pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:35pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:40pm<b>MessedUpLife00</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:48am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 10:52am<b>i8cake</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 2:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Real4Real</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:06pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:50am

Fucked!<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:35am<b>ryanto0201</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:45am<b>dansco</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:09pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:08am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:42pm<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:07am<b>I_own_a_dog</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Bunnyluver</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:58am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 7:11am<b>thebighurt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:22am<b>warrior2</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:27am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:01am<b>love_electra</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:22am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 6:02am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:12pm

melons's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of melons's badges

melons's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

by nullpointer / 08/03/2016 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 8:07am / Intimacy

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

by apaterra / 11/07/2015 at 9:14am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

by melons / 08/10/2015 at 9:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

by melons / 08/10/2015 at 9:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

by GoldCyclone / 07/11/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

by anon / 07/11/2015 at 8:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation