melonrind

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melonrind

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 May 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1223
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melonrind's page activity

Visits<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 3:23pm<b>jawarston</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:56pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:57am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:43am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 7:30pm<b>jonooooo</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 8:51pm<b>urcadox</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 3:26am

Fucked!<b>summer4me</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:04am

melonrind's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of melonrind's badges

melonrind's favorite FMLs

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

by Hate2Date / 04/05/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

by Mic / 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

by silentbutdeadly / 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy