mellingeramber

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 2:30pm)

mellingeramber

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1370
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mellingeramber : mostly bored a lot and come on here to read funny stuff :) message me if you want to know anything.

mellingeramber's page activity

Visits<b>funnypants12</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:37pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:02pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:40pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:46am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:27am<b>jeep011</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 1:11am<b>Illustrious</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:40pm<b>jahjustin</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 12:28pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:23am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:51pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:15am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:45pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 5:58pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:52pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:55pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:08pm

mellingeramber's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mellingeramber's badges

mellingeramber's favorite FMLs

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

by MyLifeSucks / 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

by SwinginSolo / 03/26/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

by And I'm still single / 03/24/2013 at 4:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

by bobthenun / 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm / Pakistan / Love