melkymac101

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Offline (the 07/17/2016 at 3:38am)

melkymac101

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4065
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About melkymac101 : Enjoy reading about everyone elses problems. Haha. For real though I feel bad for u guys. I mean like the crap you guys go through is just ridiculous. But anyway I'm in love with Josh Hutcherson. We're getting married soon

melkymac101's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:57am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:47pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:04am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:44pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:56pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:27pm<b>tismejofes</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Powerriot</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:49pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:57pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:51am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:45pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:57pm

melkymac101's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of melkymac101's badges

melkymac101's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

by Imdeadlmaokillme / 03/22/2016 at 4:47pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Intimacy

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

by auto boogie man / 11/19/2015 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

by DontBeRude / 09/28/2015 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

by :| / 09/26/2015 at 12:10am / New Zealand (Nelson) / Kids

Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML

by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML

by Joshua Sheldon / 09/18/2015 at 9:56pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 7:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Love

Today, I decided to give a break to my students halfway through my 3 hour lecture. The break became the end of the lecture, because nobody came back. FML

by MedHistory / 09/15/2015 at 4:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals