melikeulongtime

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melikeulongtime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 September 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13175
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About melikeulongtime : I believe in Peace, Bitch!

melikeulongtime's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:14pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:50am<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:19pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:56pm<b>82_08stateofmind</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 12:50am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:40am<b>DetroitDakota</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:43pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 7:54pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 7:40am<b>wardie</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:09am<b>creatingApast</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 7:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:36am<b>buzz18</b> - the 09/01/2010 at 7:33pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 08/23/2010 at 2:33am<b>emo_devon</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 1:21am<b>JCo352</b> - the 06/19/2010 at 1:35am

melikeulongtime's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of melikeulongtime's badges

melikeulongtime's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

by Jobless / 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

by fatty / 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

by forgottendaughter / 01/17/2010 at 9:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

by ohdeargodthatswrong / 01/09/2010 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

by GasAttack / 09/07/2009 at 9:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

by mvp / 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

by mvp / 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous