mcmuffinman1

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Offline (the 06/23/2016 at 12:15am)

mcmuffinman1

3Fucked!

mcmuffinman1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About mcmuffinman1 : When my dog barks at me, I yell back "ENGLISH!"
Getting my MS in Math.
I'm a magician, tutor, and automated trading software developer. Okay, so I'm a little strange...
I know origami, make balloon animals, and like to laugh more than anything. Okay, I'm more than just a little strange...
I think that there is nothing better in life than laughing! Anyone else with me?

mcmuffinman1's page activity

Visits<b>Lisee92</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:04pm<b>crystalhale</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 9:30pm<b>kattylizbeth</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:39pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 6:26pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 11:01pm<b>MissEmma</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:51am<b>reaaaagan6</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:07am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:22am<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:15am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:27am<b>laurenhem</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 10:33am<b>PikachuTaylor</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:29pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 1:37am<b>love_faith16</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:10pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:18am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:24pm

Fucked!<b>crystalhale</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:30am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 12:24am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:19pm

mcmuffinman1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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mcmuffinman1's favorite FMLs

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

by norina / 02/11/2014 at 5:01am / Work

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids