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mcdekree's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML
by Jealousbitch / 04/12/2012 at 5:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
by deviable / 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 11:47am / United States (Texas) / Work
by COCKYmanUSC / 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by xXangelaXx / 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML
by blahdyblahblah33 / 07/02/2011 at 8:22pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML
by fuckcops / 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant… Today, I found out my sister is so cheap she used all the gas I put in the car to drive to the city… Today, I am taking a quick trip to Louisiana which will take 9 hours. As I got my husky out to use…