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Offline (the 08/06/2016 at 9:01pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2676
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About maz95 : Hi!

My name's Maaria. I've had and still do have a pretty complicated life. FML cheers me up, keeps me laughing.

maz95's page activity

Visits<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 3:07am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 5:33am<b>hman1025</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:40pm<b>TeraBaap</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:04am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:18am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:39am<b>ikeb</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 3:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 8:38am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:25am<b>BerzerkHD</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 2:22am<b>chronosphere</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:45am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 12:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:53pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:26pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 10:08am<b>rnayyyyy</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:38pm<b>sinistire</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:31pm

Fucked!<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:18am<b>zacharyd650</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 1:44pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:34pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:51am<b>abdiG</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:12pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:00pm

maz95's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of maz95's badges

maz95's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

by annoyedgirl / 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

by ScoozieBooze / 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

by dino0123 / 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids