maximus_prime

Search for a member

Offline (59 minutes ago)

maximus_prime

55Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2870
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 11:32pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 7:46pm<b>TheMonroe654</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:53am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:21pm<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:36am<b>ctosc</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:23pm<b>fishinpink</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:16am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:27am<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>Forbid21</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rhyspiecesno8</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:15am<b>as986</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:51am<b>francej001</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>mbbcjuliet</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 9:33pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:52pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 10:52pm<b>fmlgazer</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:09am<b>ishnation</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:27pm<b>purple_bunnies</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:28am<b>as986</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 2:37am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:34pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:37am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:58pm<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:20pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:14am<b>bobbybev95</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:42am<b>interesting33</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm

maximus_prime's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of maximus_prime's badges

maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 12:38am / France / Animals

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

by ihatespiders / 08/05/2014 at 8:31am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

by bertiebeth / 08/02/2014 at 1:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

by gwengas / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my school received the ranking for state tournaments. We're last. Our cheerleaders are too embarrassed to cheer for us. FML

by 1111222233334444 / 02/18/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

by vey / 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy