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maximus_prime

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maximus_prime

37Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1700
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>melisssa87</b> - one hour ago<b>Doomwyte</b> - 9 hours ago<b>LonelyBoy5920</b> - 10 hours ago<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 10 hours ago<b>kyiomi</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - 15 hours ago<b>k_bushey</b> - 20 hours ago<b>symfora</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:53am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:19am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:06am<b>DMA0712</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:03pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:59pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:42am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:02pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:36am<b>interesting33</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:41am<b>steph2987</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:18am

Fucked!<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - 9 hours ago<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:42am<b>interesting33</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:01am<b>Smennant</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:35pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:38am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:35am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:56pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:05pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:06am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:09am<b>AMcM</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:45pm<b>thatonelosergirl</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:12am<b>princessEll</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:54pm

maximus_prime's FML badges

Socialite

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of maximus_prime's badges

maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (5370)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (8854)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (7306)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36335) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52768) - you deserved it (6336)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47656) - you deserved it (6279)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54644) - you deserved it (5447)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (45198)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42477) - you deserved it (2685)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35743) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39468) - you deserved it (7298)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52048) - you deserved it (9406)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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