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Offline (the 12/04/2016 at 4:19am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2879
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 11:32pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 7:46pm<b>TheMonroe654</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:53am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:21pm<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:36am<b>ctosc</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:23pm<b>fishinpink</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:16am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:27am<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>Forbid21</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rhyspiecesno8</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:15am<b>as986</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:51am<b>francej001</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>mbbcjuliet</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 9:33pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:52pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 10:52pm<b>fmlgazer</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:09am<b>ishnation</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:27pm<b>purple_bunnies</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:28am<b>as986</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 2:37am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:34pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:37am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:58pm<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:20pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:14am<b>bobbybev95</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:42am<b>interesting33</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm

maximus_prime's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

by cuckolddreams / 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

by ch4nny / 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

by spark / 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love