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max367

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max367

5Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's page activity

Visits<b>pandoraisme</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:24pm<b>zMEEHANz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:44am<b>MissEmma</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 6:59pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:57pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:02pm<b>A07</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:00pm<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:15pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:15am<b>sonsofadmirals</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 9:01am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:12am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:08pm<b>cheyyeee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:34pm

Fucked!<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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max367's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (39590)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46004) - you deserved it (4950)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (3650)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (4129)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (14524)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56248) - you deserved it (4457)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (81243)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38980) - you deserved it (13172)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55183) - you deserved it (6184)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52006) - you deserved it (11242)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58926) - you deserved it (9693)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55580) - you deserved it (4681)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)



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