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max367

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max367

6Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 8371
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's page activity

Visits<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:43pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:20pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:42am<b>nodeathtoall</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:30pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:05pm<b>idk0002</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:08pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:16pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:19pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:48am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:02am<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:41pm<b>shnoel14</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:02pm<b>alaillama</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:46am<b>pandoraisme</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:24pm

Fucked!<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

#21505211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:01am - health - by aswamk - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (5455)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

#21500678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (1720)

On 12/06/2015 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23437) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

#21499340
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (2128)

On 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by horno (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

#21497342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (1929)

On 11/27/2015 at 1:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous - France (Corse)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (2672)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

#21494871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

#21494137
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (1821)

On 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm - work - by Secret Isis supporter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

#21492366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/14/2015 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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