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mauerq69

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 2:54am) | Search for a member

mauerq69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 July 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 300
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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mauerq69's page activity

Visits<b>FabCee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:34am<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:23pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Dakota_W</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:46pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:22am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:16pm

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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mauerq69's favorite FMLs

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (19732)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38636) - you deserved it (3391)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50091) - you deserved it (4024)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (40577)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (6084)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (4119)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (2923)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45394) - you deserved it (8077)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43831) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (29177)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (13643)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63198) - you deserved it (4929)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42570) - you deserved it (5072)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States



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