Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 February 1981 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1811
  • Number of comments : 708
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 37 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mattrd's page activity

Visits<b>10220706</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Waxwell</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:22am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:12am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:34am<b>alijo1414</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 6:02pm<b>thebighurt</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:46pm<b>haneya1</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:02pm<b>fukcyuo</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:39am<b>millie14225</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:29pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:50am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 3:21am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 3:47pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:05pm<b>black_day</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:59pm<b>mthomasmillerr</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:49am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:54pm

Fucked!<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:29am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:08pm<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:26am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:45am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:02pm

mattrd's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of mattrd's badges

mattrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (2725)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (4664)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by hdgyfjdzdfg (woman) - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (33647)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (17265)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (5630)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10473) - you deserved it (40154)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (34535) - you deserved it (7804)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (39708)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8036) - you deserved it (65600)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: