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mattrd

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mattrd

11Fucked!

mattrdmattrd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 February 1981 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2012
  • Number of comments : 750
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 37 posted

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mattrd's page activity

Visits<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:51pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:02pm<b>tigersman1c</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:26am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:55pm<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:07am<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:34pm<b>ken29</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:24pm<b>FML_TJ</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:24am<b>lexiale</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:55pm<b>nightwoman</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:24pm<b>cpferg</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:08am<b>deaconsmom</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:14am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:11am<b>Inquisitor11</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:24pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:08pm<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 6:49am<b>PlaynDoc</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:59pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:30pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:29am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:08pm<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:26am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:45am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:02pm

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mattrd's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

#21514315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (2075)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

#21406178
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (6813)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42609) - you deserved it (5443)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (6341)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50845) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (6745)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52582) - you deserved it (22977)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50873) - you deserved it (5905)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56944) - you deserved it (3785)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63456) - you deserved it (11931)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51465) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States



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