About mattorama : Rock and shock, baby.
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mattorama's favorite FMLs
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
by Melinie / 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
by nosonofmine / 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
by herpmonster / 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Love
by Coffee Boy / 06/23/2012 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by hakura madada / 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
by smellyhouse / 11/27/2011 at 5:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work
Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML
by healthfoodshmealthfood / 11/17/2011 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Health
by ledon / 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML
by dazean / 11/15/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
by whoopsboutthecap / 11/15/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Izamellayella / 11/14/2011 at 8:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…