mattorama

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Offline (the 07/10/2014 at 7:06am)

mattorama

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1946
  • Number of comments : 442
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mattorama : Rock and shock, baby.

mattorama's page activity

Visits<b>PotatoGod</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:38pm<b>gigiskye</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 3:45am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:31pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:48pm<b>waffleminer25</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:38pm<b>OnceUponABear</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:08pm<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:00am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:21pm<b>ecce</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:56pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:28pm<b>_arianamatul_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:04am<b>samiann</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:35am<b>Jbrady43</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:09pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:02am<b>billionair11</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:08pm<b>xSupah</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:31pm

mattorama's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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mattorama's favorite FMLs

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

by Jobby / 06/30/2012 at 8:48am / Health

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

by mpsteve137 / 06/30/2012 at 2:21am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

by fuckjuggalos / 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

by Nick / 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

by bob / 06/29/2012 at 4:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

by Christina / 06/29/2012 at 1:31am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

by TheAngryBird / 06/28/2012 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

by RatCityChick / 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.