About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
by Savannah / 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek
by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health
by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek
by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
by srsly_what / 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…