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mat4life2's favorite FMLs
by KennyJF7 / 03/14/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids
- Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between… Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to… Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what…