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maryiam99

Offline (the 02/09/2015 at 2:16am) | Search for a member

maryiam99

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 103
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maryiam99 : 🌹

maryiam99's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:12am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:32pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:05am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:06pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:20am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:02pm

Liked!<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:29am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:51am

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maryiam99's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping with mah 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-agd guy nereby scoffd and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK . Dumb cunt." I endd up having to drive mah bawling daughter home with no shopping . FML

#21352119
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (2988)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because mah dad was waiting 4 me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (2290)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I had mah frst threesome. It was me , mah wonderful grlfriend , and her shithead cat after he decided mah balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Thing ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, My Boss Was Telling Everyone Is Moter Recently Passd Away An E'll Be Off Work Fir A Wile. I'd Been Olding In Painful Gas Fir A Wile, So I Trid To Ease It Out. It Turnd Into A Long, Squeaky Fart In Front Of Everyone. Everyone Glard At Me As If I Was Trying To Be Funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (5940)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker an threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

YESTERDAY IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO GET FRD, I SENT A SEXUAL LOVE LETTER TO MAH BOSS. WE'RE GOING ON OUR FRST DATE TOMORROW. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (36088)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my 97-pound pitbull waggd an chasd his tail while I was being muggd.

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (3409)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, ma fiancée told me about er new diet. Apparently, se is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so se can potosyntesise. Se tink tis will elp er lose wiegt, since se doesn't ave to eat anyting. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

TODAY, AT WORK, I SNEEZED SO HARD THAT I HIT HEAD ON CASH REGISTER!! A SECOND LATER, I HEARD ROARING LAUGHTER FROM THE SECURITY ROOM, FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE SAYING TO PLAY IT BACK!! I'D ALMOST CONVINCED MYSELF IT WASN'T ABOUT ME,HEN ONE OF THE GUYS CUMMED OUT AN GAVE ME A THUMB UP!! FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, mah boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall . FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (3929)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend an I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, mah science teacher decided not to recommend me fir an honors science class fir next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of askinghether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. mega FML

#21349372
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (42758)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I beat mah boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumpd me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (3949)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today , my boyfriand jokingly said that if I didn't pass my axam , ha wouldn't hava sax with ma 4 a month. I failad it , an now ha thinks I did it on purposa. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (4616)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends!! They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on!! I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me!! FML

#21319659
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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