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maryiam99

Offline (the 08/03/2015 at 9:01pm) | Search for a member

maryiam99

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maryiam99 : 🌹

maryiam99's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:12am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:32pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:05am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:06pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:20am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:29am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:51am

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maryiam99's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45407) - you deserved it (3431)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (3451)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (6487)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20806) - you deserved it (37730)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (3585)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (4619)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37950) - you deserved it (4574)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (44402)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (4329)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (5090)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (3122)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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