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maryiah

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maryiah
  • Town/Country : Usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1609
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About maryiah : Y'all sum hoes

I'm aware of my atrocious grammar. Thanks.

maryiah's last visitors

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maryiah's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

#17776041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17347) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by Lisa - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (3752)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (7176)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (6008)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45795) - you deserved it (17626)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (9730)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (3425)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML

#17589348
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (6898)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (5888)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8953) - you deserved it (32064)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (8909)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (13929)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)



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