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martinez121797

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martinez121797
  • Town/Country : Corpus Christi TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About martinez121797 : Message me or kik me martinez121797 ;)

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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martinez121797's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56972) - you deserved it (7666)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58351) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50455) - you deserved it (3365)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (9213)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13546) - you deserved it (19893)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26305) - you deserved it (3164)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36379) - you deserved it (7610)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML

#13595352
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (5668)

On 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm - work - by pocahontas (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (4504)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31151) - you deserved it (6819)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)



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