martin8337

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Offline (the 03/01/2016 at 10:53am)

martin8337

110Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5712
  • Number of comments : 1284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 53
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 1:04pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 2:54am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Jatok</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:24pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:48pm<b>kimberly_cox</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:48am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:57am<b>nyagemini23</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:41am<b>chitochito</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:40am<b>rien151</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:37am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:15am<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:15am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:13pm<b>zobara</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 5:23pm<b>NotADude</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:13pm<b>MegasaurusRex89</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:16am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:42am

Fucked!<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:13am<b>meli1195</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:38am<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:28pm<b>lmbachman</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:25pm<b>poorjudgement</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:47am<b>luckypants</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>shivakoushik</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:35am<b>feeloona</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:28pm<b>LPS8585</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:10am<b>kimise</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:07pm<b>kwerner7116</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:55am<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:04am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:50am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

by billiams15 / 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

by Lindsay / 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

by tammy999 / 01/31/2010 at 1:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

by Jumja / 01/15/2010 at 6:37am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

by Laura_2118 / 12/12/2009 at 2:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous