martin8337

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Offline (the 03/01/2016 at 10:53am)

martin8337

110Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5450
  • Number of comments : 1284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 53
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>kimberly_cox</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:48am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:57am<b>nyagemini23</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:41am<b>chitochito</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:40am<b>rien151</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:37am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:15am<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:15am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:13pm<b>zobara</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 5:23pm<b>NotADude</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:13pm<b>MegasaurusRex89</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:16am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:42am<b>lexred</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:04pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:26pm<b>xMax14x</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 6:15pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:37am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 3:39pm

Fucked!<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:13am<b>meli1195</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:38am<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:28pm<b>lmbachman</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:25pm<b>poorjudgement</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:47am<b>luckypants</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>shivakoushik</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:35am<b>feeloona</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:28pm<b>LPS8585</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:10am<b>kimise</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:07pm<b>kwerner7116</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:55am<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:04am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:50am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 3:08am / United States / Health

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

by Love stinks / 08/19/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

by mamaflower / 08/19/2013 at 4:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

by 12345678910 / 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

by ssssssssuck a dick, boss / 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm / United States (Montana) / Work

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

by love-shot / 08/17/2013 at 4:24am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health