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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3025
  • Number of comments : 1204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52. Woking late afternoon through early morning. Friday to Monday. I call my shift "swingyard".
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

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martin8337's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (9240)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML


I agree, your life sucks (76009) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (15101)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (3896)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML


I agree, your life sucks (48758) - you deserved it (2712)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52238) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46243) - you deserved it (7321)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43101) - you deserved it (7199)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML


I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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