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martin8337

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martin8337

91Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3932
  • Number of comments : 1254
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>Oihana</b> - 11 hours ago<b>mintae</b> - yesterday at 1:03pm<b>cat4651</b> - yesterday at 10:47am<b>parrchristianna</b> - yesterday at 5:44am<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:03pm<b>NeverAsPlanned</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Acc16</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:59am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:51am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:43am<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:58pm<b>ahlissuh</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:33am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:13pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Ozzien</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:55am<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:09am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:05pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm

Fucked!<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:12pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:00am<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:02pm<b>TheMeanwhile</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:24pm<b>nightfall8705</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:58am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:22am<b>2nd</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:34pm<b>moontrimmer</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:27am<b>AndyClara</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:42am<b>YBae</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:58am<b>MissBoo111</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:59pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:51pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:54pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:20am<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:56pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46615) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55603) - you deserved it (7218)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46580) - you deserved it (11436)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51864) - you deserved it (13552)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (9129)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50236) - you deserved it (7259)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (13824)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35173) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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