martin8337

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Offline (the 03/01/2016 at 10:53am)

martin8337

110Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6039
  • Number of comments : 1284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 53
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 8 minutes ago<b>raven83</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 12:15pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 1:04pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 2:54am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Jatok</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:24pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:48pm<b>kimberly_cox</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:48am<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:57am<b>nyagemini23</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 8:41am<b>chitochito</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:40am<b>rien151</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:37am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:15am<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:15am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:13pm<b>zobara</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 5:23pm<b>NotADude</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:13pm

Fucked!<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:13am<b>meli1195</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:38am<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:28pm<b>lmbachman</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:25pm<b>poorjudgement</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:47am<b>luckypants</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>shivakoushik</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:35am<b>feeloona</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:28pm<b>LPS8585</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:10am<b>kimise</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:07pm<b>kwerner7116</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:55am<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:04am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:50am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

by sillydoggy / 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm / United States / Animals

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

by brycepetrillo / 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz / 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML

by VetStudent / 09/04/2013 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

by grossedout / 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous