Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

martin8337

Online | Search for a member

martin8337

77Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3480
  • Number of comments : 1242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52. Woking late afternoon through early morning. Friday to Monday. I call my shift "swingyard".
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterwife</b> - 5 hours ago<b>toasty_narwals</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Iarla_ceapaire93</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - 21 hours ago<b>saffy66</b> - yesterday at 7:07pm<b>iateapenguin</b> - yesterday at 3:55pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - yesterday at 12:45pm<b>allynicki14</b> - yesterday at 11:26am<b>missa8604</b> - yesterday at 8:53am<b>1Personation</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:08pm<b>bballer4life820</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:43am<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:08pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:54am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:09am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:27am<b>VONTEENTEEN</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:20am

Fucked!<b>firefighterwife</b> - just now<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:54pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:20am<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:56pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:53am<b>ScottLucky</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:25am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:11am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:24pm<b>xxmirandapandaxx</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:19am<b>deftones</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:26pm<b>MandieL</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 9:00pm<b>shaewiens</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:33pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:22pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:55pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:06pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (6321)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (8241)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50391) - you deserved it (9284)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (45835)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50227) - you deserved it (3734)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (34508)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

#20887677
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (5179)

On 09/19/2013 at 11:18am - health - by BarryShitpeas - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (4020)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (40490)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (3296)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55990) - you deserved it (12577)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (86501)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (5833)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (8983)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: