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martin8337

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martin8337

58Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3193
  • Number of comments : 1218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52. Woking late afternoon through early morning. Friday to Monday. I call my shift "swingyard".
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>Ang3lofd3ath167</b> - 2 hours ago<b>goblue10871171</b> - 3 hours ago<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - 6 hours ago<b>iwadasn</b> - 8 hours ago<b>phantomofmind</b> - 17 hours ago<b>ringaringaring</b> - 23 hours ago<b>ConstantlyAnna</b> - yesterday at 6:28pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - yesterday at 2:37pm<b>archnarquibquib</b> - yesterday at 1:33pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - yesterday at 1:30pm<b>deathgrips</b> - yesterday at 12:10pm<b>Markovski</b> - yesterday at 10:51am<b>dakotasan</b> - yesterday at 10:03am<b>esaliba</b> - yesterday at 5:27am<b>Atowns40</b> - yesterday at 4:12am<b>kindasortayeah</b> - yesterday at 3:21am<b>luvthewayulie</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:04am<b>maeganmarie_</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:28am

Fucked!<b>ringaringaring</b> - 17 hours ago<b>archnarquibquib</b> - yesterday at 7:33pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - yesterday at 7:30pm<b>3051628</b> - yesterday at 4:41am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:40pm<b>blostrich_</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:38am<b>maeganmarie_</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:44am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:02am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:57am<b>Rainb0wdash9</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:38am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:46am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:40pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:51pm<b>NotADude</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:00am<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:04am<b>skymachine</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:14pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:19am<b>Emile_of_owata</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:19am

martin8337's FML badges

Supersize Menu

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53513) - you deserved it (7957)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50658) - you deserved it (10853)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (6347)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50385) - you deserved it (6466)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44419) - you deserved it (4984)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (6280)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (4664)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (88187)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59106) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50447) - you deserved it (6809)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (4593)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (10331)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41312) - you deserved it (6909)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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