marleyvk

Search for a member

marleyvk

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1953
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About marleyvk : There is no spoon.

marleyvk's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:57am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:10pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:09am<b>vincentvamp</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:55am<b>swervelol</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 11:12pm<b>tylerjxsephx</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:36pm<b>dankmemes710</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:32am<b>TheLostOne_</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:46pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:52pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:53am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 4:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:42pm<b>xyuukinekox</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:26am<b>BloodlustOreO</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:51am<b>biggins224</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:07am<b>TheOneAndOnly5</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:16pm<b>crishale</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>Eitanm</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:16am

Fucked!<b>carebear1228</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:25pm

marleyvk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marleyvk's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

by 092492 / 03/05/2011 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

by SODbeatlesMCRlp / 11/19/2010 at 11:54am / United States / Health

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

by Bob / 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Work