markcallanan_

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Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 9:45am)

markcallanan_

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 December 2000 (15 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1800
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About markcallanan_ : Hi, I'm mark.

markcallanan_'s page activity

Visits<b>Sefrok</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 6:59pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:19pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 9:31am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:56am<b>UncleCaitlyn</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:35am<b>LovelyLyssa911</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 3:22pm<b>l4urenz</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:07pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Trippleballs</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:38pm<b>jokeman560</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:06pm<b>DevilNDisguise</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:03am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:32pm<b>nesteremily</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:42am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:36am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:32pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:55pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:31pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:56pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:36am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:12am

markcallanan_'s FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of markcallanan_'s badges

markcallanan_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

by anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

by megangubler / 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

by notamum / 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous