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Today, ma boyfriend and I ad sex. After aile, e started staring at ma lady parts, and said ma "vag looks like a mockingjay". He looool ten stretced te lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
yesterday I was taking a shower with mah boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closd he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into mah eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today,hile driving in the car with mah father, he handed me his iPhone an asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good fir our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good fir anal." FML
a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet !! The kid got pretty upset.!! !! so I went to comfort him !! He held mah hand 4 the rest of the class.!! !! telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill mah coworker !! Now I'm afraid to look at him !! FML
Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015