Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mariepastyglue

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

mariepastyglue

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3258
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Valcannos</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:43pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:05am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:07am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:32am<b>Destiel_</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:37pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:43am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:07pm<b>kc_chocochip</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:10am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:34pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:30pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of mariepastyglue's badges

mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (7910)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML

#13007829
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (4110)

On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

#12943582
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17678) - you deserved it (23292)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29543) - you deserved it (7962)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

#8681991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (2513)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:37am - animals - by lovingsnow (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (2615)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4431) - you deserved it (52624)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (4687)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

#6633448
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (12504)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78861) - you deserved it (6244)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (3278)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (7218)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: