mariepastyglue

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Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 9:45am)

mariepastyglue

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4104
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:59pm<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:13pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:14am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:28pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:29am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:21pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:25am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:05am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:56am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:39am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:06am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of mariepastyglue's badges

mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

by sleepless / 02/18/2012 at 5:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

by nolife / 12/29/2011 at 7:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

by sharon / 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

by Annon / 11/26/2011 at 6:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

by livgasms / 08/18/2011 at 12:02am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

by Charlotte / 01/25/2011 at 9:10am / Intimacy

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 12:08am / United Kingdom / Health