Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mariepastyglue

Offline (yesterday at 9:30pm) | Search for a member

mariepastyglue

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2726
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:40pm<b>StressedDesserts</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Econforthwin</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:07pm<b>jacobdunn8700</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>jenamalone</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:38am<b>Anonymousjeffrey</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:33am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:28am<b>newzealand</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:30pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:48pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:39pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:34pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:33am<b>acg7</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:21am<b>borloff</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:54am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:11am<b>joshuathomas1</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:39am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:53am

Liked!<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of mariepastyglue's badges

mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with mah girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, ( You like mah tushy, baby? ) ( I want to fellate you so bad, ) and ( You'll need some ice after this one. ) My boner practically retracted into mah body. FML

#18954927
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (5166)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today I was so bord that I began searching fir videos of people popping their pimples.

#18642510
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (36784)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:03am - misc - by nolife - United States

Today, I was giving a presentation at work,hen I said, ( But we could care less about that. ) My boss asked if I meant, ( Couldn't care less. ) Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you deserved it (30971)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire an didn't realise u had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (2157)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (11510)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to take mah dog to the vet fir him to be puttd to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up mah ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (5455)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today , mah family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in mah room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

#17505369
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (4675)

On 08/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by livgasms - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s . They includd slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgustd or impressd . FML

#17279382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (4230)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday I watched mah dog chase his tail fir ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching mah dog chase his tail fir 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (36624)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today... I got a call from mah daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her wat was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. fat FML

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND ASKED ME TO PLAY DEAD SO HE COULD HAVE SEX WITH MY "CORPSE." FML

#14881975
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51760) - you deserved it (7129)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks youhere a state, country or city is an you would have to find it an click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parent would sneak into my room at night, take it an play 'strip-globe'. mega FML

#14708119
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25366) - you deserved it (2730)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in mah house. I decidd to beat mah meat to them. Later I found out it was mah grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (77299)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught mah mom trying to gat sacratly smashad out of har brain-box on booza at 8:00am. maga FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (2571)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today My Doctor Told Me To Buy Some KY Jelly And A Dildo To Help "loosen Me Up" So Sex Isn't So Painful. I Haven't Been Able To Have Sex Fir 6 Months Cuz It Hurts So Badly, And Now My Doctor Has Basically Told Me To Go Fuck Myself. Big Fat FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: