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mar_k623

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mar_k623
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  • Number of visits : 184
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mar_k623's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51645) - you deserved it (15672)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70631) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (14702)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17125) - you deserved it (42089)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58169) - you deserved it (5070)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9792) - you deserved it (25152)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33517) - you deserved it (6237)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42309) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (1918)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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