About mandafager : It's a lot of time to take between what's right and wrong.
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mandafager's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Retarded / 09/05/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Florida) / Work
by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
by >_< / 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Pontiacman92 / 08/29/2013 at 3:07am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by ocdistheworst / 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML
by justash12 / 08/25/2013 at 5:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
by Jade / 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Animals
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…