About mama2b3 : Hi.. I don't really like filling these out, but if you wanna know something just message me. :) I'm usually on my phone so I might not respond right away.
mama2b3's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
mama2b3's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML
by AnxietyGirl / 09/24/2012 at 3:18am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
by MexicanMe / 09/14/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML
by Swivel / 06/07/2012 at 8:17am / Singapore / Work
by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love
by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML
by Garry / 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Intimacy
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by mark807 / 04/28/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…