malkavian_mad

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Offline (the 05/04/2016 at 10:29pm)

malkavian_mad

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About malkavian_mad : Nerd.

malkavian_mad's page activity

Visits<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:05pm<b>rlfender32</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:45am<b>_LarryTheCheetah</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:31am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>emmilol</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:26pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:04pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:00am<b>steffi90</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 4:04am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 8:47pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 2:20am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:07am<b>purpleleaf</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:53am<b>Fortuneator</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:50am<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:56am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Karla009</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 9:56pm<b>mitchk9696</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:12pm<b>musiclover71498</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 6:50pm

malkavian_mad's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of malkavian_mad's badges

malkavian_mad's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2011 at 4:40am / Austria / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

by quickfingers100 / 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

by notmydad. / 05/08/2010 at 6:07am / Philippines (Manila) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

by uHazFailedTotall / 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

by limecat / 10/06/2009 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

by abrazama / 10/02/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

by bossgroper / 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML

by Timmay / 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love