malkavian_mad

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 12:23pm)

malkavian_mad

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About malkavian_mad : Nerd.

malkavian_mad's page activity

Visits<b>rlfender32</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:45am<b>_LarryTheCheetah</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:31am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>emmilol</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:26pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:04pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:00am<b>steffi90</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 4:04am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 8:47pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 2:20am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:07am<b>purpleleaf</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:53am<b>Fortuneator</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:50am<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:56am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Karla009</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 9:56pm<b>mitchk9696</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:12pm<b>musiclover71498</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 6:50pm<b>jay2257</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 5:15pm

malkavian_mad's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of malkavian_mad's badges

malkavian_mad's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

by MissShei / 03/11/2013 at 4:37am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

by Kiki / 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm / Poland (Malopolskie) / Love

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

by meranda_johnson / 12/13/2012 at 3:58am / United States / Health

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work