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Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 7:06pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 536
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About malicious_melons : I love Jesus and books :) ❤

malicious_melons's page activity

Visits<b>baseballdude1283</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Rinat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Doobette</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:06pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 4:05pm<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:10am<b>Kyklopes</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 9:00am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:45am<b>ZDR</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:35am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:42am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:22am<b>rob02</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 8:57pm<b>OhMyOhMila</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:13pm<b>ShakeDisPlace</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:51pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:25am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 10:01am<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 11:12pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 10:23pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:21pm

malicious_melons's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of malicious_melons's badges

malicious_melons's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids