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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2962
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Engineer to be

malait's page activity

Visits<b>Naruffy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:45am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:59am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:50am<b>the_only_spoon</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>lannisters</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:22am<b>faerieonacid</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:49am<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:11am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:42am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:53am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:10am

malait's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (7825)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (1591)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm - animals - by damaged - United States (California)

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (7393)

On 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm - work - by RIPcareer - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking through school when I noticed an advertisement for school picture retakes. It read, "Bad hair day?" Underneath was my picture. That's my normal hair. FML

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (1719)

On 10/08/2015 at 7:53am - animals - by Bad Mother (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (6195)

On 10/01/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (4230)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (4047)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/26/2015 at 3:45am - love - by Anonymous - India (West Bengal)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML


Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (4786)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (6067)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (2642)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (4704)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

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