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maj3st1cllama

Offline (the 12/25/2014 at 5:11am) | Search for a member

maj3st1cllama

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About maj3st1cllama : hey there I'm kaley...not much to put here. I'm a nerd. I like videogames and books. so much that I'm writing one. I'm very straightforward and I love Matthew. the end

maj3st1cllama's page activity

Visits<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:28am<b>yenze</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:24pm<b>xTwinkies1</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:36am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:33pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:25pm<b>youngindian</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:28pm<b>kyranstar</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:21pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 9:19pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:31pm<b>keyface5</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:10am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Greions</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:23pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:16pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:27pm<b>katebond</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:11pm<b>shibeep</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:01am<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:23am

maj3st1cllama's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of maj3st1cllama's badges

maj3st1cllama's favorite FMLs

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (4375)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50403) - you deserved it (24332)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57302) - you deserved it (66226)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (3301)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38830) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3796)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (4543)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (1880)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (1880)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (9125)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (4813)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67499) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104540) - you deserved it (277138)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)



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