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maigan332's favorite FMLs
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML
by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
by CUCKOO / 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom / Love
by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love
by easily amused / 10/12/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, I play softball and we use eye black because it helps block out the glare. I sat down at my… Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he's unhappy with his life. He's basically with me because I…