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maiden_girl's favorite FMLs
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
by musicaddict / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by dileigh / 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
by Ricky / 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by dad / 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
by hlev24 / 03/03/2009 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
by thissucks / 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Aliya / 03/01/2009 at 9:14am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
by facepalm / 02/27/2009 at 3:39am / Singapore / Intimacy
by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
by lifesucks4me / 02/23/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 02/14/2009 at 6:14pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by sissica / 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…