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magicman13

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magicman13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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magicman13's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to work at the restaurant instead of going to the prom, which nobody asked me out to. For five hours, I got to shamefully greet and seat people on their way home from the prom, all of whom knew I was too lame to get asked out. FML

#21111507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/12/2014 at 11:01pm - work - by annoyed teen - United States (Idaho)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46120) - you deserved it (9051)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (3225)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

#20846305
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41472) - you deserved it (2726)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (22545)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (7858)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7720) - you deserved it (34277)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (50339)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

#19073057
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (10367)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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