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maddyylion

Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 7:17am) | Search for a member

maddyylion

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Washington, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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maddyylion's page activity

Visits<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:39pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:18am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:42pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:28pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:52pm<b>justin1205</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:34pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:30pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 7:24pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:45pm<b>aubreylynn</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:39am<b>YukariFuma</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:26am<b>vegandragon</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:57pm<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:02pm<b>phantumgrey</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Adsmith</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:02am<b>Blee864</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:09am

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maddyylion's favorite FMLs

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

#21498394
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/29/2015 at 11:55pm - love - by badplannning (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

#21480670
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (7399)

On 10/16/2015 at 4:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (4921)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (2254)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (7137)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (3911)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (39091)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (68729)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (7098)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (48574)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86079) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States



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